Causes of my Stuttering
Hey, Andrey Denisenko here. I’ve recently made a video about causes of stuttering and as I was shooting it the reminiscences from my childhood just flooded me so I decided that I want to share my personal story about causes of my stuttering and how I grew out of it. So stay tuned. At school in the first, second and third grades we had a boy in my class who stuttered very severely And I began to make some sounds longer like “I will go-o-o-o there tomorrow” so I had prolongations I didn’t pay any attention to that At times, I could control it At times it seemed like I couldn’t But that’s amazing another guy in my class who came with normal speech began to stutter as well and then experienced those impediments.
And that proves to me that this was the cause or one of the causes of my stuttering Back then, I was one of the leaders in my class, running, playing all day long so full of energy No fixation on the impediments whatsoever so far At 10 years old, I fell off the tree I hit my head on a stone right here BOOM! Or here…POOF! I don’t remember. I was in the hospital 3 months. Complete rest. They did not allow me to read not to disturb my brain They gave me injections to stimulate my brain to make it work better And I guess I got slower in speaking and thinking my memory got worse after that incident I think it was one of the causes of my stuttering. Because I vividly remember myself stuttering and suffering from stuttering right after that incident, or pretty soon after that And when I was 11 years old our family moved to another country for a couple of years And moving far away getting used to a new environment was quite stressful for me I left all my friends And this new school was, to put it mildly, not so good. It was horrible actually One of the guys from that school tried to suicide because his father beat him regularly And in the class we had tough guys, who beat other guys who were not so strong One day a boy all of a sudden jumped at me, knocked me down, and we clamped together. And I was just beginning to get free, from his grip and was trying to get on top of him when teachers came and took us apart. Technically I didn’t lose But, the attack was so sudden and unexpected that fear creeped into my heart And I just couldn’t help it.
It just stayed there. I think that was the final trigger for my stuttering I clearly remember myself stuttering since then And you know why? Because since then I began to hide it I got so conscious about hiding it You see that tough guy was trying to harass me Like taking my pen, not giving me back, looking what will I do Will I fight him? And I didn’t fight him We never fought since then I could not let those tough guys in the my class see that I stutter I didn't want to give them a chance to make fun of me. And they did laugh at me I think at times when I had impediments But the main thing happened I reduced the amount of speaking dramatically And that fear, that desire to hide the impediment it gives food it supports stuttering It is stuttering. Not the whole thing, but one of the major core pieces of it. Two years later, I came back to my school But now I was a completely different person I was no longer a leader of my class, I was just someone sitting in the corner Not playing, not hanging around with friends I didn’t have friends any more I became a total introvert, reading all the time, spending time with my books I became a studying nerd While in the first grades when I was so active I had mostly C’s or even E’s, now I had only A’s and just some B’s. So I became a much better student, with much higher academic performance And you can call it a positive side of stuttering My parents didn’t understand stuttering at all My mum was shocked when she learned about my stuttering. She was like “what was that?” Like I broke my leg or something And it caused a feeling of shame and guilt in me. My dad, to the contrary thought everything was fine and was pretending like there was no problem Like, “Come on!" "Relax, you’re a man! Grab yourself.” "Come on!" And he silenced my mum every time she wanted to raise that issue Both approaches, giving too much attention to it and pretending that there’s no problem reinforced my stuttering because they strengthened my guilt and desire to hide the impediments by any means.
Then my stuttering got worse and worse Every time I thought about speaking everything inside me started trembling my heart jumping out of my chest And when I had to speak in class I couldn’t think about what I was saying I thought only about stuttering I didn’t hear myself just thunder in my ears and lightning in my eyes And after that I crawled back home totally empty and burned out and happy that I don’t need to do it again until tomorrow. So what was the cause of it and could I escape it somehow? What if I didn’t have that stuttering guy in my class, or didn’t fall off the tree or didn’t have that fight that incident that brought fear into my heart? Well, all these things are called “life” There could have been other triggers And by the way do I have relatives who stutter? Yes, I have an uncle who has a severe stuttering So is there heredity that makes me predisposed stuttering so at that I would catch stuttering anyway? Maybe it’s a fundamental factor that I just don’t see? When I was 20, I set a goal for myself to become fluent I gave myself 1 year By the end of that year I didn’t go far. When I was 27, seven years later, seven years later! I went through a couple of treatments, a couple of therapies that didn’t work at all Then I found a method that I just knew must work for me And it did improve my speech greatly I had to come back to that therapy again It was not so easy, and it took me years to come to the point where I’m now. I don’t want to overwhelm you in this video if you want to go deeper into that method and learn how you can get free from stuttering I’m inviting you to the webinar about 3 massive mistakes we’re making that keep us away from fluency It’s absolutely free. You can find the link down below this video Now in the comments to this video, I want you to tell me what do you think caused or triggered your stuttering.
Thank you so much for watching! That’s it for today Don’t forget to subscribe if you're watching it on YouTube like Free From Stutter Facebook page, and I’ll see you in the next video Just think about it. I set a goal, gave myself one year and it took me seven years to try the treatment, try therapy Put a goal, very determined, then seven years to try a treatment What did I do seven years? Seven years. OK It’s funny, I just finished shooting this video and my wife comes in and says, you know what, don’t tell me stories I read, I saw in your medical records that you stuttered since you were two and a half years old I don’t remember.
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