Hey, I'ts Meg I haven't made anything in a while uhhh, We decided to try to try for another baby and I got pregnant and I was feeling like super fatigued and exhausted We went in for a check-up, and then the doctor said that things weren't developing as expected And a few days later I had a miscarriage and lost the baby. We were super excited about being pregnant So uh it's really sad that we have to wait to try again on that We had taken these super-cute pictures on the way to that appointment with the doctor because we thought it was going to be a celebrations Like, "Horray! Here's this happy thing." Uh, and then I didn't really have anything to do with these pictures since it ended up being bad news, and I kind of like forgot about them So, I'll share them here. Here's cute pictures of us being happy before we got bad news.
So that was earlier this week. I've been pretty much just like laying low and like watching movies with Lily and just trying to take it easy. Feeling really tired, kind of sad. I also feel kinda bad because I haven't really been able to fully be there for Lily in the ways that she like wants and needs for her two-year-old stage of development so I guess juggling those two things has been pretty taxing and exhausting. I was also kind of surprised at how long it takes to have a miscarriage I guess when I was a person who had never had one I thought it would be this sort of thing that was like pretty ...instantaneous. I think there are a lot of things in life where when you're not the person who's having to go through them just assumes it's probably a light switch for the people who do have to go through it but it's not. It was several days of dragging on and not knowing if I was going to stay pregnant or not And then several days of not knowing what that process was going to be like or what to expect. Uh, and for some women it's like way longer than that for each of those stages, so um It's pretty uncomfortable to just like sit there in the unknowing Um..
So In that regard, at least Ben and I feel a degree of relief that we know what's happening and where we stand presently. My mother-in-law sent me these really pretty flowers which definitely cheered me up some And then some of them started blooming as others were wilting, so I pulled out the sorta wilty ones and replenished the bouquet and added these sunflowers I thought it would be nice to have like happy, cheery, alive things around Anyway, I don't really have much more to say about it. I think the main reason I even wanted to make a video is that there's a lot of outlets in my life where I'm not telling anybody this and not sharing it and culturally, we don't really have a rite, like the R-I-T-E form of "rite" for this kind of thing, and so I guess I was trying to like make up one for myself since I'm going through this right now.
So um just to have like an outlet to sort of put my experience that I'm going through right now. Thanks for listening. I'll see you next time. Bye.
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